Part 1: 8,000 Days
Part 2: Bringing the Kids on Your Honeymoon
Part 3: Light Bulbs, Ice Cream Cones, and Lunch Dates
Part 4: Administrivia
Part 5: Technology and Aging
Part 6: Financial Administrivia
“Unfortunately, aging is not a team sport.”
– Dr. Joe Coughlin, Director of the MIT AgeLab
The AgeLab was established at MIT in 1999 as a multidisciplinary research program that works with businesses to improve the quality of life of older people and those who care for them. The AgeLab applies consumer-centered thinking to understand the challenges and opportunities of longevity and emerging generational lifestyles to encourage innovation across business markets. Their insights are critical for anyone who is nearing retirement, or who has loved ones such as parents, aunts, or uncles who are entering this stage of life. This article in our series discusses the “Solo Journey” phase and explores the realities of life as a surviving spouse.
The “Solo Journey”
As we discussed in our last article, the folks at the MIT AgeLab have proposed a new name for the “retirement years,” the stage of life that begins roughly at age 66 and extends for 25 or more years through the end of life. According to the AgeLab, these years should be named the “Exploring” phase of our lives, as opposed to “retirement.”
In their model for aging, the AgeLab also suggests that there are four distinct phases that people experience as they live through their “Exploring” years. The first of these is the “Honeymoon” phase, named because it marks the period of time when this whole idea of exploring our freedom is brand new to us. But, there are also a number of adjustments that must be made as we acclimate to the changes in our lives.
The second stage is called the “Big Decision” stage because this is a time when we are faced with a number of very important decisions that may impact our quality of life for the rest of our lives, and in particular, decisions about where we will live.
The third stage is known as “Managing Longevity.” This is a period of time when managing the complexities of life may become more challenging. The final stage is the “Solo Journey,” referring to the period of time after one spouse passes away and the other is left to live out the remainder of their years alone.
Adjusting to Life Alone
Statistics tell us that almost 30 percent of Americans over the age of 65 are living alone, and that among the population of older Americans who are living alone, 69 percent are women. Most of the people living alone have experienced the loss of a spouse, and the average age of widowhood in America today is 59 years old. Because female life expectancies are longer than male life expectancies, most wives are likely to outlive their husbands, which accounts for the significantly higher proportion of women living alone. However, the rate of divorce later in life is also rising, as the divorce rate of couples over the age of 50 has doubled in recent years.
Whether it is due to the loss of a spouse or a divorce, millions of older Americans – mostly women – are living alone. The death of a spouse or the dissolution of a marriage can be traumatic, particularly for those who have been married for many years. These events are likely to trigger feelings of grief and depression, as well as intense loneliness for the spouse who is left alone on their “Solo Journey.” For many people, this phase of life will become a reality – one which must be realistically anticipated and prepared for. It’s appropriate to start by revisiting the initial three stages of the “Exploring” phase. The questions and issues that we had previously been addressed as a couple must now be addr